Hopping "Right" Along…

Another funny–we have so little humor these days! Hat tip to my friend Maria!

Subject: Hopping right along (UNCLASSIFIED)

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and
tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop, right on his twitchy
little nose.

“Oh please excuse me,” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you,
but I’m blind and can’t see.”

“That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. “To be sure, it was my
fault. I didn’t mean to trip you, but I’m blind too, and I didn’t see
you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?”

Well, I really don’t know,” said the bunny. “I’m blind, and I’ve never
seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.”

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, “Well, you’re soft,
and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and
a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!”

The bunny said, “I can’t thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of
animal are you?”

The snake replied that he didn’t know, and the bunny agreed to examine
him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, “Well, what kind
of an animal am I?”

The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, “You’re soft,
you’re cold, you’re slippery, and you haven’t got any balls …You must
be a Democrat.”

How To Start Each Day With a Positive Outlook

A little humor from my friend Tony!

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a “new file” in your computer.

2. Name it, “Hillary Clinton”.

3. Send it to the “trash”.

4. Empty the “trash”.

5. Your PC will ask you, “Do you really want to get rid of “Hillary Clinton”?

6. Firmly, Click “Yes”.

7. Feel better.

P.S. Next week, we’ll do “Nancy Pelosi”!

A Little Perspective on Gas Prices and this ALLEGED War for "Oil"

This came to me as a joke, but it rings true, as all good humor does.

And for all the looneys and nutters out there that think this war is over oil, please remember–we only get 17% of our oil from the Middle East (and ZERO% of that from Iran; 5% from Iraq) and 48% from Canada (So why aren’t we at war with Canada if it was JUST ABOUT THE OIL?) (Statistics from http://tonto.eia.doe.gov/dnav/pet/pet_move_impcus_a2_nus_ep00_im0_mbbl_m.htm)

The price of Gas
All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are….
You will be really shocked by the last one!!!! (At least, I was…)

Compared with Gasoline…. ..Think a gallon of gas is expensive?

This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 … $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ……….$9. 52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 …. $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 . $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 . $33.60 per gallon
Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 … $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ……. . $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 …..$84.48 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER…Evian water 9 oz $1.49……. …$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don’t even know the source. (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap? So they have you hooked for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink at………. ……you won’t believe it………. ………but it is true…….. ……… ……..$5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)

So, the next time you’re at the pump, be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!!!!!

Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump…

Makes one stop and think, doesn’t it?

Let’s keep it in perspective!